urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:to_helen_back cindy cindy 2007-09-10T00:12:23Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:to_helen_back:17323 2007-09-10T00:12:23Z 2007-09-10T00:12:23Z so, after such a very long time i have decided to get off my ass & post.<br /> life has been hectic with the start of the new school year & all that entails. i worked both jobs this week & did some volunteer work at the school (close to 60 hours all totaled ) & was sick on top of that -phooey.<br /><br /> but... tonight i went running, 1st time in a week & damn , it was awesome. only 3 miles,but it felt great ! i love running in the rain . now i have this renewed energy & i'm psyched up to do some sewing projects tonight. i already have my fabric & patterns set to go , so there's no stopping me !! muhahahaha!<br /><br />with a fashion show , 2 craft fairs & workshops looming in the distance this was the push i needed to get my creative energy back .<br /><br />i'm starting to feel a bit more like me again & it's about damn time i might add. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:to_helen_back:16911 2007-07-15T23:33:25Z 2007-07-15T23:33:25Z So, looks like I'm going to be a super geek & attend Mugglefest this coming Friday. We were given free tickets,wheeeeeeeooooo. Just what does one wear to such an event ??<br /> in other news...<br />Had to skip out on seeing The Importance of being Ernest tonight due to thundershowers. poo. damn outdoor theatre, if only the weather were better in Maine,hopefully I'll have a chance to see it next week. <br />Been watching documentaries on Beat poets most of today & have decided that as much as i enjoy jack & alan & william i think i'm content to stand by my boy oscar for he is far wittier & dresses better.<br />ummm, i feel like i should update more since it's been forever since i've posted, but to be honest, my brain hurts from drinking last night, I don't drink enough anymore, so my brain is a bit foggy , or perhaps thats from the k ...kids, never mix yer booze with yer pills.<br /> not much else to report. I've been trying to keep busy making collages, planning classes & sewing silly monsters ... & when the weather permits I've have been enjoying the hell out of riding my newly acquired vintage bicycle built for two. I think everyone should own a bike, they are so much fun ! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:to_helen_back:16833 2007-05-20T22:13:03Z 2007-05-20T22:13:03Z wow, it has been a crazy long week. this weekend was busy,busy ,busy.<br /> emma & i went to the ballet to see alice in wonderland. it was amazing. the costumes were so pretty-ful . post ballet we went to a bbq, which i was way overdressed for, & i got to see some old friends that i hadn't hung out with in ages. good times, yummy s'mores. mmm....s'mores.yum ! <br />then emma had a friend sleep over, which went well, but has left me feeling way over worked. all in all a good day today though. got up early & made muffins for breakfast & then since the oven was already pre-heated i made yummy brownies with wee little peanut butter cups in them. yay ! batty crocker strikes again. muhahahaha!!!!<br />now i'm gonna check for fashion show photos & keep my hopes up that when the newspaper comes out tomorrow the interview i did won't suck too bad. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:to_helen_back:16411 2007-05-16T05:50:54Z 2007-05-16T05:50:54Z i'm up past my beddy-bye time. I just got done looking at some pictures from the fashion show & sending 'em off for possible inclusion in a newspaper interview. i'm a bit nervous about the whole interview thing & i'm a bit sad that i look wonky in my picture from the show, at least kristin & emma look awesome. here's hoping it all works out. i've got my fingers & tootsies crossed. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:to_helen_back:16181 2007-05-13T13:58:22Z 2007-05-13T13:58:22Z another year, another fashion show done. i'm glad. <br /> my hair is still runway big , must take shower & de-poof it. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:to_helen_back:15986 2007-05-09T00:14:51Z 2007-05-09T00:14:51Z today i took a walk by the river to clear my head with my new friend jesse.<br /> while in the park the cutest 3 year old came up to me & said "'scuse me miss cindy" in a teensy little voice & then proceeded to hand me a bouquet of 3 dandilions & a tiny pinecone. i thanked her & asked her if she was sure she wanted to part with the pine cone because it seemed like a special one, but she said i could keep it. i still have the pine cone in my car, but the sun shriveled up the dandilions. that little girl made my day seem so much brighter. kids rock. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:to_helen_back:15794 2007-05-05T15:36:01Z 2007-05-05T15:36:01Z yesterday was the most charlie browniest day ever. went to the park to fly our new super-duper pirate kite & after much fun & silliness a tree decided it looked yummy enough to eat. sigh. and.. while the tree was eating our kite the wind decided to knock our milkshakes off the bench they were on & doggies ate 'em . damn doggies.<br /><br />in other news the fashion show deadline is fast approaching 1 week away . yikes !!!! i still need a model or 2 & i still have finishing touches to do on one outfit, but as for the second one, well, i made it last night & hate how it came out , so it's back to the drawing board. we have a meeting sunday, so i'm hoping to find a model so i don't have to do the runway myself.<br />so much to do , so little time. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:to_helen_back:15403 2007-04-28T19:40:37Z 2007-04-28T19:40:37Z i've been busy at the sewing machine these past few days. i have one outfit just about finished & plans bumpin' in my brain for a second outfit .<br /> i've also just for fun made 2 skirts & modified an old t-shirt into coolness.<br /> hopefully i'll have some pictures to post soon. too much to do today , i'll do a bigger & better update later.<br />tonight i'm off to a sleep over in the childrens museum ...wish me luck, this should be interesting. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:to_helen_back:15201 2007-04-23T04:37:14Z 2007-04-23T04:37:14Z is there a way to shut up all the thoughts zipping through ones head to let only one brilliantly solid idea stand out from the bunch ?<br /> i am way to brain-fried to come up with a solid idea for this fashion show i'm supposed to do in less than a month. yikes !<br /> i've been viewing old movies, scanning thru old magazines & art books of some of my favorite artists hoping some image will just click & inspiration will hit & i can get to sewing. <br /> the problem is that i'm interested in too many things, so i can't just pick one style & go with it because halfway thru my brain says , "psst, you could be doing something cooler than this ..." , not to mention that i'm a fabric junkie & every time one of these almost it ideas comes into my head i dash off to the fabric store. it's becoming an expensive habit. <br /> i feel frustrated , very frustrated, like, i'd rather be doing complex mathematics than deal with designing anything at this point. i'm hoping that i can come up with something by the end of the day tomorrow - nothin' like a little pressure, right ?? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:to_helen_back:14912 2007-04-22T14:19:47Z 2007-04-22T14:19:47Z whew, i feel like i never have time to stop & take a breath . i have been crazy busy - puppet theatre workshops , gym time , wickedly fun day trips to awesome museums with awesome friends (yay !) , fashion show insanity ( yes,i know, i swore i'd never do it again ) & yesterday i spent time at the beach doing clean up , so much broken glass it's insane , i'm trying to come up with some sort of art project to do with the glass, but my brain is in fashion show mode i can't think of anything yet.<br /> today is another amazingly sunny day & i can't wait to go out & play . <br /><br /> i'll post more when my brain decides to slow down enough to let coherent thought linger for more than a second or two . <br />theres just too much to think about , too many exiting things on the horizon. <br /> the spring/summer is shaping up to be hella cool. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:to_helen_back:14618 2007-02-25T22:59:29Z 2007-02-25T22:59:29Z just got home from a trip to the rollerskating rink. i don't know exactly who's bright idea it was (most likely mine) , but let's just say that my dreams of being a roller derby girl are pretty much squashed. i hadn't been on skates in at least a decade & well, it wasn't as easy as i'd remembered. <br />tonight: arts & crafts night. i'm going to devote the evening to getting my collage started & dying fabric. if i'm feeling reaaallly ambitious i may finish up a mirror/collage i started before the holiday insanity kicked in. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:to_helen_back:14362 2007-02-22T05:44:06Z 2007-02-22T05:44:06Z i had intended to work on a collage for this silent auction thingy i'd been asked to participate in , but i can't decide what to build it on . besides that i have too many other projects going on. i need to dye some fabric for puppet workshop part 2, as well as edit/rework/type up the script for tuesday. i should also finish up the doll i started - i think she's getting angry with me for leaving her faceless & nekkid.<br />i can't seem to focus my full attention on any one of these projects, so what did i do tonight you may wonder ? or not, but i'm going to tell you anyway...<br /> i went to the gym instead. i had hoped it would help clear my head, but i almost fell on it instead. yup, i nearly fell off the treadmill in an attempt to adjust the speed , theres no way to look cool when trying to recover from stumbling like a drunk on a treadmill - that damn thing is going to seriously injure me one of these days. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:to_helen_back:14227 2007-02-21T07:25:41Z 2007-02-21T07:25:41Z i just finished up editing my old live journal account. i deleted well over half of it. if i'm not mistaken it's down to a nice neat 100 entries. it's amazing how much has changed & even more eery is how much has stayed the same since that journal was started back in 2001. i had intended on killing the whole thing, but didn't have the heart to delete it - i slashed it up pretty good though.<br />i was on such a roll that i edited a bunch of this journal too. <br />yes, you too can erase your past with the click of a button, it's sooo easy.<br />actually, it's really exhausting, pouring through your past & re-living teensy bits of the years of joy & pain in one night. it puts things in perspective & makes me see where i could have done things differently , it's pretty eye opening. <br />now i'm going to try to sleep if i can get my brain to shut off, it's quite overloaded at the moment. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:to_helen_back:13994 2007-02-19T06:32:36Z 2007-02-19T06:32:36Z i think the winter blahs are sinking in. <br />yup.<br />little things are bugging me in big ways. everything from the way i look (the old eating disorder has been trying to reappear & i'm fighting the good fight against it) to envy of others who seem to have everything under control or are blissfully happy. i find myself getting down on myself because i can't seem to keep anything in control these days. <br />i can't really blame winter though, it's all in my brain & it needs to be re-adjusted .<br />i suppose i need to give up worrying over the things i can't change & work on the things i can . urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:to_helen_back:13758 2007-02-15T06:03:27Z 2007-02-15T06:03:27Z BRRRRRRRRRRRRR !!!!<br /> I just heard a big thumpity noise outside, so naturally being the curious type of girl i am, i had to check it out. Apparently the wind is so strong that one of our sleds that was tethered to our front stoop somehow became un-tethered & with a few thumpity-thumps was skipping down the street...so there i was ... sled running wild in the streets with me chasing it down like some kind of freakin' idiot. <br />i'm getting too old for this.<br />it's getting too cold for this.<br />sometimes my life is just too ridiculous.<br /> the end. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:to_helen_back:13491 2007-02-15T05:01:34Z 2007-02-15T05:01:34Z Well, thanks to Mother Nature I spent most of my day dealing with the elements.<br /> Emma used to think it was elephants, not elements... I think today I would have prefered elephants. I swear someday I will run away with a circus. Mark my words,I would in a heartbeat. Ah, the life of a circus girl with my charming circus boy hubby (hey, it could happen & it would be so romantical)<br /><br /> So, heres a boring list of what I did with my Valentines Day...<br /> I woke up , had tea, shoveled the driveway & headed to work. <br />Luckily we got to leave work hella early because of all the crappy driving conditions - yay!<br /> so, I head to my sister's to grab some coffee & Emma before heading back home & guess what ? I shoveled out most of her driveway because 1)she has crazy arhritis in her knees/joints & 2) i'm just too fricken nice sometimes.<br />Then, I come home have a snack, bake some cookies & what might you ask did I do next ? shoveled my driveway , awww yeah, one can never shovel too much. But thats not all, I then shoveled my neighbor's driveway (well, my gram is my neighbor & she just turned 81, so I can't have her attempt it).<br /> So ,now here I sit with achy body , choco-chip cookies & a nice hot cup of tea feeling pretty damn accomplished. tired, but accomplished. I guess this winter snow shoveling bonanza makes up for not going to the gym for a work out today.<br /> I'm sorta wishing for a snowday tomorrow so I can play hookey from work & enjoy playing in the snow because I didn't have a chance to today. Theres always the weekend.<br />Maybe I can go sledding before we head to the XMC show - yee-haw motorcross, bikes are cool ... it's gonna be so white trash action theatre, I can't wait ! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:to_helen_back:13297 2007-02-12T22:32:26Z 2007-02-12T22:32:26Z ... there was a girl who'd actually post on LJ .<br /> I can't believe it's been this long since I've posted anything.<br /> egads!<br /> It has been a very topsy-turvy year thus far. extreme lows & a few bright highs to make existing worth it.<br /> I've spent equal time in doctors offices/hospitals as I have sledding & ice skating...so , I guess looking back at it all, breaking even isn't that bad . <br /> I'm hoping that the rest of the year picks up . I've got a gajillion artsy craftsy projects in my brain trying to escape into reality, hopefully I can get some accomplished before the month is through. <br /> Puppet workshop part 1 starts tomorrow night, it should be a hoot ! Theres nothing quite like working with a bunch of wacky kids to get rid of a creative block . urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:to_helen_back:12824 2006-12-12T22:11:01Z 2006-12-12T22:11:01Z Ok kids, hold on to yer cozy winter hats... I am actually going out on Friday . Wheeeeeeeeee!<br />Yup, leaving my house & attempting to be a social-type person.<br />So...who's gonna be out & up for some good old fashioned wintery mischief ?<br />ok, so without the snow theres not alot one can do thats mischievious, no slush balls to throw or hills to sled down, but there must be something to do . I'm open to suggestions. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:to_helen_back:12317 2006-12-01T05:24:04Z 2006-12-01T05:27:10Z today was a good day. we had chocolate cake at work . the weather was weird warm for the last day of november, but i can't bitch cuz i got to go running . first time in a week. yup. i needed a fix & it totally rocked - 3 miles, without pain . woot. yay me.<br />plus to make the day rock more- in my batty crocker world- i made pancakes for dinner & they came out perfectly round, not all deformed & wonkity like they usually do when i make 'em , the only thing that would have made 'em better would have been choco chips...mmmm. <br />i'm trying really hard to look on the bright side of things these days , finding joy in the simple things - it may sound silly but it's true. thanks to those of you who have put up with the grumpy me i've been ... please know i'm trying to get better & sorry if i have been slack about hanging out/calling i'm workin' on it.<br /><br />today was also a bad day, after my triumphant run & pancake making extravaganza i received a phone call that someone dear to me had attempted suicide. sad. another slow road to recovery & all i can do is be there,try to help & try to understand it all. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:to_helen_back:12062 2006-09-21T04:17:51Z 2006-09-21T04:17:51Z well, today was my birthday...35 , yup...35.<br /> it was a pretty good day -<br /> i didn't lose my job (whew),layoffs are an emotional rollercoaster-yikes.<br />i had waaay too much cake , thanks to my coworkers .<br />i had the pleasure of cheering my niece on in her 1st cross country meet where she finished 28th out of 28 with a smile on her face as if she had come in 1st - kids amaze me .<br />hrrmmm.. what else did i do today ...<br />ooh , i had a yummy & free mexican lunch with my friends at the burrito shop while planning a possible day of the dead art show ,<br />later i survived a birthday dinner at my parent's house that went better than i'd expected...especially since my sister & i chatted about collaborating on a project or 2 for november. yay !<br /> <br />... & although i didn't do anything "big" for my birthday i enjoyed being me & all the insanity that sometimes goes along with it, which is something i rarely do . my favorite part of the day though was spending time with emma laying on the hood of my car & stargazing. you can learn so much about a person when you are still enough to listen . urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:to_helen_back:11958 2006-08-31T01:45:29Z 2006-08-31T01:45:29Z i have learned a lot this week about just how fragile the human body can be, but more importantly i've learned how strong the human will is to survive.<br /><br />the past few days have been crazy & finally my head has stopped spinning... big thanks to my friends for the support, it means more than i can put into words.<br /><br />all is quiet here now & hopefully shaping back into some kind of "normal" or as normal as it can get for folks like us.<br />i'm glad to close this chapter ... but thankful for the knowledge i've gained. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:to_helen_back:11041 2006-07-11T04:45:26Z 2006-07-11T04:45:26Z in an attempt to keep boredom at bay i made a doll tonight.<br />i haven't sewn a doll in months & i was quite impressed at how much i got done in such a short ammount of time.<br /> she's pretty cool crazy black dread-ish hair, long black & white stripe arms & legs (complete with snazzy vinyl boots), but she's still nekkid since i'm not sure what she wants to wear yet. <br />i'm now uber sleepy, yawn. <br />tomorrow night - sewin' up some dolly clothes - woo hoo ! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:to_helen_back:10809 2006-07-11T00:44:40Z 2006-07-11T00:44:40Z bored,bored,BORED !!!<br />i was working on the garden but the frickin bugs are nasty.<br />is it too much to ask to have a purdy garden space in which to sip tea dressed is silly clothes & throw garden parties ?<br />bored,bored,BORED !!!<br />maybe i'll do some sewing.<br />the end. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:to_helen_back:9981 2006-07-02T01:02:37Z 2006-07-02T01:04:36Z i always thought i was more like May , but you don't see many female horror movie killers, sigh. <br /><br /><br /><table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" width="600"><tr><td><img src="http://images.quizfarm.com/1131740144QuizHannibal.jpg"></td><td> You scored as <b>Hannibal Lecter</b>. You are Hannibal Lecter. You dont need to eat human flesh to live, but do so because it just taste good. You are very intelligent, and enjoy using it to your advantage to keep people guessing. You arent a killing machine, but when you do decide to let loose, watch out! Dinner is served, with some fava beans, and a nice chianti!<br><br><table border="0" width="300" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0"><tr><td><p><font face="Arial" size="1">Hannibal Lecter</font></p></td><td><table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="60" bgcolor="#dddddd"><tr><td></td></tr></table></td><td><font face="Arial" size="1">60%</font></td></tr><tr><td><p><font face="Arial" size="1">Freddy Krueger</font></p></td><td><table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="55" bgcolor="#dddddd"><tr><td></td></tr></table></td><td><font face="Arial" size="1">55%</font></td></tr><tr><td><p><font face="Arial" size="1">Leatherface</font></p></td><td><table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="50" bgcolor="#dddddd"><tr><td></td></tr></table></td><td><font face="Arial" size="1">50%</font></td></tr><tr><td><p><font face="Arial" size="1">Michael Myers</font></p></td><td><table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="50" bgcolor="#dddddd"><tr><td></td></tr></table></td><td><font face="Arial" size="1">50%</font></td></tr><tr><td><p><font face="Arial" size="1">Pinhead</font></p></td><td><table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="45" bgcolor="#dddddd"><tr><td></td></tr></table></td><td><font face="Arial" size="1">45%</font></td></tr><tr><td><p><font face="Arial" size="1">Buffalo Bill</font></p></td><td><table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="45" bgcolor="#dddddd"><tr><td></td></tr></table></td><td><font face="Arial" size="1">45%</font></td></tr><tr><td><p><font face="Arial" size="1">Jigsaw</font></p></td><td><table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="40" bgcolor="#dddddd"><tr><td></td></tr></table></td><td><font face="Arial" size="1">40%</font></td></tr><tr><td><p><font face="Arial" size="1">Captain Spaulding</font></p></td><td><table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="40" bgcolor="#dddddd"><tr><td></td></tr></table></td><td><font face="Arial" size="1">40%</font></td></tr><tr><td><p><font face="Arial" size="1">Jason Voorhees</font></p></td><td><table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="10" bgcolor="#dddddd"><tr><td></td></tr></table></td><td><font face="Arial" size="1">10%</font></td></tr><tr><td><p><font face="Arial" size="1">Candyman</font></p></td><td><table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="10" bgcolor="#dddddd"><tr><td></td></tr></table></td><td><font face="Arial" size="1">10%</font></td></tr>&lt;/td&gt;</tr></table><br><a href="http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=100416">Which Horror Killer are You?</a><br><font face="Arial" size="1">created with <a href="http://quizfarm.com">QuizFarm.com</a></font></table> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:to_helen_back:9419 2006-06-28T04:48:44Z 2006-06-28T04:48:44Z i hurt myself today. messed up both of my ankles running sprints (& helping my daughter with the running long jump) without stretching my lower legs/ankles as well as i should have.<br />every step i take is painful, i plan on icing them asap. i may have to take a day off from running to recover, damn .<br /><br />i have put my art somewhat on the backburner over the past few weeks so i could focus my time on getting back into running. <br />i'm determined to wear a bathing suit this year & not freak the hell out. the ultimate goal is to lose 30-40 lbs so i can wear the clothes i like rather than the frumpity ones i wear to the warehouse everyday...plus i think it would be great to actually model in the next fashion show that comes my way as well as design instead of hiding out behind the scenes. so much to do so little time.<br /><br />since i have been so fitness driven lately & really not my artsy self i have so many new ideas bumpin' in my noggin' that i fear my head may go all explodey if i don't focus & create something soon.<br />i may have to start waking up early in the morning to work on art before i go to my ho-hum job, there as so many dolls waiting to come to life-arrgghhhhhhhhh... there needs to be a law or something passed to add at least 2 more hours to the day, some kind of new improved daylight savings time. yeah .<br /><br />well, i'm off to grab ice & my sketchbook. it's gonna be a long night.